What are the 5 Best Steps to Deepening Your Relationship with a Mentor?
Once you’ve chosen a mentor, or accepted a mentee, and established the ground rules of working together, the pressure is on to keep the conversation productive and relevant. After you’ve built a solid rapport, consider using these unconventional questions to deepen and advance the conversation into new areas of insight:
1. What qualities do you look for in the people you hang out with? Have you ever heard the saying that you are the average of the top 5 people you spend time with? A top performer knows that their time is valuable and not to be wasted on people who don’t help them become better in some way. If you can start a conversation with those you mentor about what they look for in others, you will get a 10,000 foot glimpse of the qualities they are trying to develop within themselves.
2. What values are you committed to? Having values at the center of your business is invaluable. In fact, one of the little-known secrets to Apple’s success is its unwavering commitment to challenging the status quo. Strong values such as these provide grounding and direction whenever you are faced with a new problem or opportunity. Spend some time defining and exploring a time when remaining true to their values required a mentor or mentee to embrace extra work or strong personal or professional sacrifice.
3. When is breaking the rules okay? Rules exist for a reason, but a top performer knows that many rules regarding “the way things are done” are simply a product of social construction, and no heads will roll if you break them. Why not ask for the story of a time when your mentor or mentee decided to break a rule in their own business and how it panned out. How did they evaluate the risks and benefits? Would they do anything differently today?
4. How do you keep your feelings from clouding your decision-making? Humans are far from purely rational beings, and yet we’re expected to make hundreds of decisions every day from a place of logic and reason. Top performers recognize the powerful role emotions play in tough decisions and develop constructive habits to raise their own awareness. Talk this over for a while to gain more insights into both parties.
5. How do you challenge your underlying beliefs or assumptions? While it’s not easy to prevent emotions from clouding one’s judgment, it’s even more challenging to recognize when you are operating from an assumption that may not be true. Top performers know that they don’t have it all figured out; the most successful people actively seek out new perspectives that challenge them to grow. Talk about how each of you challenges underlying beliefs and stringencies.
Until next time,
Kelli Richards
CEO of The All Access Group, LLC
PS, The right mentor will also have the right CONNECTIONS to move any effort forward. Be sure to ask who they think they can bring to the table around advisor ship, possible collaboration and even funding. If you’d like to discuss mentorship with me and learn more about my own connections and process, please reach out by email.